Read the following two marketing messages and tell me which one feels more powerful to you:

Option A:
Fit Body Boot Camp offers personal training at the lowest possible prices. We provide the most powerful weight loss workouts available and we have the best nutritional consultations money can buy.
Our Unstoppable Fitness Formula guarantees results. No one else can make that claim.

Option B:
Have you ever gotten real weight loss results from a gym?
Well, Fit Body Boot Camp isn’t a gym. But it is where you’re going to get the kind of fitness results you see on those cheesy TV commercials. (Yes, your abs can actually look like that.)
If you don’t know, Fit Body Boot Camp is personal training that won’t bankrupt you, workouts that will get you the body you want, and nutritional meal plans you’ll love to eat.

Which of these do you think would bring you more clients? Or better yet, if you were a prospect, which one would compel you the most?

I know which one would work better. See, I wrote one of these options while purposely committing the same fatal mistake nearly all fitness marketers commit when marketing. Did you spot it?

Well, let’s look at what’s different between the two:

Option A is shorter that option B. It contains less sentences, less paragraphs, and gets straight to the point. The sentences are punchy and communicate a lot of information. Four unique features of Fit Body Boot Camp are communicated in just these few short sentences.

The copy in option A is entirely dedicated to explaining why Fit Body Boot Camp is a great option for anyone seeking help with weight loss.

But what about option B?

This copy is a bit more long winded. It’s longer, it has an additional paragraph, and it goes off on a couple tangents.

The first line is a question that, unlike in option A, does not immediately communicate one of Fit Body’s features. And there’s a moment in the middle paragraph where the speaker talks about things entirely unrelated to FBBC.

It’s also a lot more conversational. Option A sounds like a real corporate voice, a true company tone, whereas option B sounds more like a friend just casually talking to another friend.

But there’s one final difference (we’re going to get technical here so fasten your seat belts and think back to 6^th grade English class): it's the pronouns!

Option A is all “we,” “our,” and “us.” Option B is only “you,” “your,” and “yours.”

So I ask you again, which copy is better?

Um, HELLO!? It’s option B!

Why?

Because of everything I’ve just told you.

B is the better option because of everything I’ve just said and more, but to make it extremely clear, I’ll boil it down to one point: Successful boot camp marketing is always about the client and never about the boot camp.

Prospects don’t want to hear about how great your boot camp’s workouts are, they don’t care that you think you’re better than anyone else, and your list of 1,000 features means very little to them.

They want to know how your awesome features and powerful workouts are going to benefit them.

You’ve got to emphasize the benefits and focus entirely on the client.

Because being awesome isn’t a benefit— a benefit is the positive change your awesomeness will have in someone’s life.

So stay away from the “we,” “us,” and “our” phrases. Make sure your focus is constantly on the benefits and advantages clients will receive from your training.

And this doesn’t just apply to sales copy, it should shape your entire marketing message.

You should even use this principle during an in person sales consultation or during your lunch-n-learns.

Even when you’re speaking you should always emphasize client benefits. Never focus on your boot camp’s features without continuing to show exactly how those features will make positive changes in your prospects’ lives.

Remember, people don’t want a gym, they want to lose weight. And people don’t care about workouts, they care about living and feeling healthy.

So every time you want to say, “Our workouts are great,” instead say, “you’ll love our workouts.” Or when you feel like writing “we offer nutritional consultations,” instead write, “you’ll have access to professional nutritional advice.”

See the difference?

This entry was posted on April 22, 2015 at 11:14 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Posted in Boot Camp Marketing, Fitness Marketing, Internet Marketing by Steve Hochman | No Comments Yet